Monday, July 17, 2006

Chinese Diaries

Day 1 - Friday 14th July

After 16 hours of flying, I finally touched base at Pudong International Airport in the afternoon. Not even an hour into my trip here, exciting things started happening. Yes, the first thing to happen was the disappearance of my luggage. I had to lodge a report at the airport, hoping that the bag was misplaced during the transit at KLIA and that it would be located soon. My sis had arranged for a driver to pick me up from the airport. I see this little Chinese guy holding a sign with my name on it, as though I was someone important, hehehe. My sis was already waiting for me at her apartment when I got into the city. It was located at the corner of Beijing Rd and Shi Men 2 Rd. Wow, did she have a nice place! I'll spare you the details, but just know that it's luxurious for one person to live in. So there I was in Shanghai with no clothes, no underwear, no socks and no walking shoes. So what do I do? I go shopping! Yes, bought myself a new pair of sneakers, socks, boxers, a t-shirt and short pants, all for 200 Yuan. I had Shanghainese dinner with sis and Tomas at the famous Wu Jiang road. After dinner, we headed home to pack for the trip to Huang Shan, a supposedly famous mountain. The trip was organized by my sister's friend. The 13 of us met up at Zhongshan Park and departed from Shanghai at midnight.

Day 2 - Saturday 15th July

The 13 of us were Edison, Dikun, Cheng Xin, Christabel, Henry, Kelvin, Larry, Thomas, Tomas, Yee Tian, Yun, my sis and I. We were cramped into a mini van, and there were two drivers who took turns driving. Boy, was it the scariest road trip ever in my entire life!! The drivers were driving like maniacs, speeding and cutting in and out all the way to Huang Shan. Never have I prayed so much ever. One of the drivers was falling asleep and we had to keep talking to him to keep him awake. Thank god I’m still alive and blogging right now... Finally reached Huang Shan town in the morning, where we had breakfast and met our tour guide Jenny. Jenny looked like a twelve year old girl. She was small built, baby faced, and had a cute voice. I later found out that she was 23 years old, but she sure didn’t look like it. So up we went to the foot of the Huang Shan. From there, we took a cable car up the mountain. The mountain was around 1800 meters tall. Apparently, it rains 300 days per year at the mountain, and today was of those days. We were greeted at the top of the mountain with rain and fog, and lo behold, we couldn’t see a single thing, no scenery, nothing. Okay, at this moment, my first impression of Shanghai is that it’s polluted and wet, sort of worse than Melbourne. Anyway, we didn’t pay 1000 Yuan to see nothing, so Jenny took us hiking around the mountain, explaining the history and historical spots. There were about 6000 stone steps around the mountain and we climbed about 4000 of it that day. Ask me what I saw today at Huang Shan, I would say rain, fog, stairs and more stairs. We arrived at the mountain’s hotel in the afternoon, all drenched from the rain and tired from climbing step after step. We all conked out on our beds for the rest of the afternoon, eventually waking up for dinner. Played some poker with my roommates after dinner and won some money. Lights out at around 1am.

Day 3 - Sunday 16th July

Suppose to wake up at 4am to see the sunrise, a must see thing at Huang Shan. Kelvin answered the wake up call and asked the caller the chances of seeing the sun actually rise. Very little chance came the reply and Kelvin, on behalf of Henry and I, thank the caller and went back to sleep. The people who did wake up for the sunrise must have regretted in the end as the caller was right. We checked out the hotel at 9am. The day before, Tomas and I joked about wanting to hike up the mountain instead of taking the cable car. Well, our wish came true today. The cable car service was not running due to strong winds and rain. So imagine us climbing down hundreds and hundreds steps with hundreds of other people in the rain for about 2 hours, that became reality. So there you are hiking down the mountain, trying not to slip and cause a domino effect of people falling over one another, can be really scary man. Yet, here’s the amazing thing. You see, the only means of transporting food and goods up the mountain is people. I prefer to call them transport machines. You can see these Chinese men carrying a thick bamboo stick on their shoulders. On each ends of the stick hangs a basket containing food and goods (e.g. huge melons, vegetables, meat, toiletry, cooking items, etc). Each basket easily weighs more than 10kg. Carrying these things up the mountain is already such a difficult thing for the average person. Running up and down the mountain with it, I salute them. Unfortunately I didn’t take any pictures of these transport machines. But I did have a run down the mountain with them. You see, hiking down the mountain can be real slow with the steps being really narrow and aunties and uncles blocking your way all the time. Halfway down the mountain, I decided to run down with a transport machine. These transport machines act like ambulances, where people move out of their way as they run up or down. I followed one of them closely, and man, it was challenging to keep up with him. I really had to climb the steps real quick, sometimes skipping steps in the process. Proudly to say, I managed to keep up with him till the end. The return trip on the bus was sleeping time for me. My sis took me to this Hong Kong restaurant for dinner, but I thought the food still wasn’t as good as Melbourne’s. Right now, I’m at home planning my trip to Suzhou tomorrow. Still no news on my lost luggage.

Day 4 - Monday 17th July

Something interesting happened today. I tagged a ride with my sis to Suzhou in the morning, where she had to meet some suppliers. On the way there, my sister received a call from the airport, claiming they had found my luggage! Yippee! After getting dropped off at Suzhou’s train station, I took a taxi to Tiger Hill (Huqiu) Garden. Although recommended by my parents, I thought there wasn’t really much to see besides the leaning pagoda and the thousand people stand where a thousand people were massacred. There was this rock where it tells whether you will have a boy or girl as your first child. You had to stand 3 yards away from the rock and throw a tiny stone on it. If it stays on the rock, you will have a boy, and if it falls off, you will have a girl. So I obviously gave it a go, and the result was... Anyway, after spending about an hour at Tiger Hill, I took a cab to the more prominent Humble Administrators (Zhuosheng) Garden. This garden was definitely more beautiful than the previous one. Its five hectares featured streams, ponds with huge water lilies, bridges and islands. A water lily leaf was up to 10 times the size of my hand!! Then the most interesting event of the day occurred. You can call it what you want, whether it was out of sheer curiosity or out of sheer stupidity, I prefer to call it an interesting but risky experience. Some of you might be disgusted with my actions, but I’ve decided to share this with the readers as it will serve as a warning if you do travel to China. Anyway, I was taking a tricycle taxi down to the city centre when the driver stopped by this building. A girl came out and asked whether I wanted to have a look around for 10 Yuan, and if I didn’t like it I could leave anytime. In the back of my mind, I have heard of this places where a girl would come up to you (usually they would target foreigners) and ask whether you would like to have a drink with her. If you accept her offer, you’ll be conned a lot of your money at the end of the day. I was very reluctant at first, but curiosity got the better of me, I accepted her offer, very well knowing it would be costing me more than 10 Yuan. I only had 100 Yuan left on me at that time, and maybe I was a bit overconfident of not getting conned as well. I was taken to this small room upstairs, where inside contained a sofa, a table and a karaoke set. I sat alone in the dimly lit room, waiting for what seemed like eternity, when suddenly the door opened and entered a woman. She looked young and attractive, but a dark room always does wonders with a person’s true complexion. She sat down beside me, and we started talking...23 years old...living in this building with mom and dad...studying something...this is her part time job...sing karaoke...give massages...eat and drink...blah blah blah. As we talked, their next con took place. A woman came in with two drinks, placed them on a table and left. After 5 minutes, the same woman came in with tit bits. After another 5 minutes, the same woman came in with fruits. I did not touch a single drink or food. My mind was racing like formula one. Yes, I know I’m getting conned, but what were they going to do when they find out I only have 100 Yuan in my wallet? They could either let me go for a 100 Yuan or let me go after a bash up. It was up to me to convince them the right way I guess. I stayed there till my sis called, saying she was on her way to pick me up. As I left the room with the girl, a guy came up the stairs and ushered me back into the room. With a calculator in his hand, he started the exciting world of typing out whatever figures that popped out from his head, adding them up...738 Yuan...yes, 738 Yuan...are you gasping yet? I started panicking a bit, wondering why my sis hasn’t called back yet? I showed the guy the 100 Yuan on me and he kept telling me that I can’t leave until I pay the full amount. I started speaking in English to him, trying to stall time, and luckily he couldn’t understand a word I was saying. Another guy entered the room. Finally my sister rang again and I told her to come and help pay the cost for me. Knowing she was surprise with the news, I passed the phone to the guy, and he was clearly agitated when talking to her because she couldn’t speak Chinese that well. As I was about to tell her the place to come get me, the line cut off because I ran out of credits. Now was the time for the punch line. I told the men that my sister and her foreign friends are coming to get me now and the line worked to perfection. They got really nervous. You see, in most cases, this business is the only bread and butter for this type of people. Having a bunch of foreign people coming to the place other than to do business is never a good thing for them. They have no clue the influential power a foreigner could have in the area. A powerful person could ultimately shut their business down. In the end, the men reluctantly accepted my 100 Yuan and I left the building unscathed. I must admit it was a very close call, putting your own life in danger is something I do not recommend even if you have an escape route. However, I did appreciate the experience of being conned, and for a 100 Yuan, it was worth it. And yes, I did take a picture of the lady. I think if she smiled in the picture, she would have looked 23...hehe... If I have triggered an growing excitement in some of you guys instead, please do bring at least a thousand Yuan and pay the freaking cost if you want to try it out!! I don’t want to be attending your funeral so early... Finally jumping into the car, we headed to the pearl factory to buy some pearls. Here’s how to check for quality pearls: Shiny, Round, Rough, Unscratchable and Unburnable. Once back in Shanghai city, we went to Wu Jiang road to eat road side food, including lamb sticks, fish balls, chicken wings and xiao long baos. We had very good desert at a Chinese restaurant, including steam egg white, coconut jelly, and mango smoothie. It was by far the best mango smoothie I’ve ever had in my life! I’m definitely going to have another one there before I leave Shanghai. My luggage finally arrived at night. Tomorrow’s events: wet market, haircut.

Day 5 - Tuesday 18th July

I had good 7 hours rest last night. I didn’t really know what to do today besides getting a haircut and visiting the wet market. A Shanghainese friend of mine from Australia had suggested I meet up with her friend, Sherry, in Shanghai. I finally got through to her this morning. She sounded really friendly and suggested we meet up for lunch. Ah well, I guess I had to get my haircut another day. We met up at Shimen Yi Lu station. My first impression when I saw her was that she wasn’t from Shanghai. She looked like she came from the middle part of China. I later found out that she is from Xin Jiang, which is located west of China, bordering Turkey. We took the subway to People’s Square, the heart of Shanghai, where shopping centers, and the old and new collide. Even on a weekday at a working hour, the area was packed with people walking in and out of shops. It was as though today was a public holiday. I walked around the area with Sherry as my tour guide. Lunch was interesting as there were dishes which I haven’t tried before in my life. I will list out the dish names once I get them off Sherry later. Lunch went very slow as we talked about Shanghai, our backgrounds, etc. After lunch, we walked around Nanjing Rd for little while more before heading to the wet market to buy groceries for dinner. Sherry was suppose to join me and my sis for dinner, but just I was preparing to cook in the kitchen, Sherry had to excuse herself as she had to attend an interview which was put forward to very early next morning. However, she did say she’ll take me for more sightseeing tomorrow afternoon. For tonight’s dinner, I made curry chicken, mince pork and egg plant with spicy bean sauce, winter melon soup and stir fry bak choy. I was suppose to go out with my friend, Ying San, later tonight for the opening of a night club but it was postponed as it was a bit too far away. I didn’t really do much today compared to the past 4 days, but I’m feeling more sleepy than usual. It could be the beer I drank for dinner. Currently looking forward to drinks with Ying San at the Bun, Black Eyed Peas concert on Thursday, Brazil Steak House BBQ buffet on Friday, Hangzhou trip on Monday.

Day 6 - Wednesday 19th July

I finally had my haircut today. For 30 Yuan, I received a hair wash with scalp massage, blow dry, cut, wash, blow dry and style. I thought it was funny when I asked the young girl who was shampooing my hair her age, she replied that her fake age was 18 and her real age was 17. Why not just choose one? Later, I met up with Sherry in the city, and we took a cab down to the Dong Jia Bu fabric market on Lujiabang Rd. I had a cashmere coat tailored made over there for 400 Yuan. Super cheap!! Then we headed to Qipu Rd Shopping Center where we could buy fake goods...hehe. After shopping, we walked to the Bund (Wai Tan), the riverside of Huang Pu River, which overlooks Shanghai West, where you see the two tallest towers in Shanghai, the Oriental Pearl Tower and JinMao Tower. We took a ferry across the river to the west bank and headed up to the 55th floor of the JinMao Tower. We could only see very little of Shanghai East because of the pollution. We had dinner and yummy desert (durian pancake and sago with sea coconut) at LuJia Zui shopping center. The Oriental Pearl Tower with its color-changing lights at night looked really interesting, with its two big globes glowing in multiple colors. After, snapping off a few shots, we headed to the river bank to admire the Shanghai lights on the east bank. The buildings along the bank were lit with an orange-yellow color, all in unison with each other. The quiet river, the beautiful lights and the small breeze provided a very peaceful and relaxing atmosphere. Consider it a very romantic situation sitting on the bench with your date and staring out across the river for the entire night, admiring the beauty of Shanghai. I finally met up with Ying San later that night at City Diner. Ying San was one of the first people I met in Melbourne. She was only there to study for a year, before she left for Shanghai. Although we never saw each other much during that time, we managed to keep in touch all these years. To see her again after 5 years was pretty amazing. I still remember the time when she made me herbal chicken soup to drink. It was good to hear her doing well in her career, and having traveled to so many places already, something I also hope to be doing in the many years to come. We did not stay too long as it was already past midnight and she had to work the next day. Today was a day with lots of walking.

Day 7 - Thursday 20th July

I didn’t go out until after lunch. Sherry came over to eat the left over food from Tuesday night’s dinner. We later went to visit old Shanghai town. There was nothing much to see, and the town wasn’t really old looking, catering more for the tourists. The highlight of the day was the Black Eyed Peas concert at Shanghai stadium. I met my sister’s friend Grace and her bunch of friends at a Vietnamese restaurant for dinner. Dinner was quick as we were rushing for time. By the time we got to our seats, the show had just started. I kept having déjà vu throughout the show, and it wasn’t until towards the end of the show when they performed ‘Let’s get it started’ that I realized I’ve seen the whole performance on television before. All the props and music sequences were pretty similar. Overall I gave the show an 8 out of 10. Although the sound system wasn’t great, the music was good; the crowd was into it, dancing and singing along; the hip-hopping by William, Fergie, Taboo and apl.de.ap were mouth-watering; it’s Fergie’s style which makes her such a hottie. Took lots of videos and photos until my memory card was full. We went to this bar called Tang Hui to have drinks after the show. The place was mainly full of overseas people, probably an expat hang out. Zzzzzzzzzed at 2am.

Day 8 - Friday 21th July

I took the subway down to the Shanghai Science and Technology Museum. I thought it was a waste of money as there wasn’t anything new to see. The place was mainly for schoolies. I had buffet dinner at Brazil Steak House with my sis, Tomas, Christabel and Dikun. Every few minutes, someone would come to your table bringing some meat on a metal stick and cutting some on your plate. Pretty cool idea as you don’t have to leave your seat and you get all the food you want. They had steak, pork chops, bacon, sausages, chicken wings, lamb chops, chicken heart, cow tongue, all the meat you can ever ask for. It was a meat fiesta and I felt really sick after that. I tried the traditional Brazilian drink Caipirinha, which is made of lime, cachaca, sugar and ice cubes. I found the taste actually pretty good. After stuffing up our stomachs, we headed down to the night spot in XinTianDi. The place was like Jln Sultan Ismail in KL, where there are clubs, pubs, cafes and restaurants all along a pedestrian walk. We had 3 drinks at this place called Tmsk, and it came out to 180 Yuan. Super expensive! Although there were lots of people over there, I wasn’t really impressed as I couldn’t really feel the lively atmosphere night spots usually give out. The reason we left early and retired to bed.

Day 9 – Saturday 22nd July

I woke up this morning still belching meat, followed by a big poop in the toilet. We went to have dim sum at 8:30 this morning! Early eh? Apparently this place starts packing up at that time and we would have to queue up if we went any later. We went to the Fabric market after breakfast to pick up my coat but found that they haven’t finished making it yet. So instead of just going there to grab my coat, I became greedy and made myself a suit today. I’ll be picking both up on Wednesday. Sigh, just can’t resist clothes with style… We went for a massage in the afternoon, with me getting a full body massage and foot reflexology. The girl that massaged me, Fang Fang, was from Huang Shan, a surprise as I was just there. I thought she did a really good job, my body felt much looser after. Later checked out the DVD shop across the road where I live, and ended up buying 145 Yuan worth of DVDs. I didn’t really do much at night, just going out for dinner and watching some movies on the projector screen at home. Must remember to buy train ticket to Hangzhou tomorrow.

Day 10 – Sunday 23rd July

Today was last day I would be seeing Sherry. She’ll be starting her internship tomorrow, while I’ll be away at Hangzhou. I spent some time planning my Hangzhou trip in the morning. I then met up with Sherry for lunch and bought my train ticket to Hangzhou. We spent the rest of the afternoon checking out the shops at Huai Hai Rd and XinTianDi. I really like to thank her for taking to show me around Shanghai the past few days. She has been an awesome tour guide and a great and fun-loving friend. I met up with Kelvin in the evening for dinner and massage. He brought me to this place where they give out acupressure massage, which I found really soothing, easily one of the best massages I’ve ever had. Maybe I can make it there again on Wednesday before I head back to KL. Another short entry again as I need to go pack for the Hangzhou trip...

Day 11 – Monday 24th July

I woke up very early this morning to catch the 6:30 train to Hangzhou. Upon arriving at Hangzhou station, I saw a long queue at the taxi stand and there weren't any taxis around. Counted myself lucky, I met this small-framed guy, Xiao Huang, who offered to drive me around for half a day for 150 Yuan. He even introduced me to a nice hostel where I paid 300 Yuan for a small suite, the most expensive room they had. The room wasn't bad at all, with only the shower having some water problem. With the help of my new found friend, I got to see the Old Dragon Well (LongJing Quan) at the Dragon Well village, Lin Ying Temple, West Lake (HuXi), Qing He Fang market and the city. I also had some nice local food for lunch, which didn't taste as salty as the food in Shanghai. I met up with Sherry's friend's friend, Yang Di, who brought me around West Lake and Qing He Fang market. It's always nice to have the locals bring you around as you get to know more about the place. The more I travel, the more I appreciate having contacts around the world... I went for 2 massages at different outlets after dinner as I felt really sore from all the walking today. Sigh, I wished they had Shanghai-like massages in Melbourne, which are so much cheaper and feels better...mmmmm...those soft silky smooth hands...aiks, I said too much...

Day 12 – Tuesday 25th July

Oh, the laziest day of the trip. I was suppose to take a bus to Wu Zhen water village, but I woke up late and decided to just relax in Hangzhou. I had another massage and spa session, greedy greedy... Then I spent the rest of the afternoon cozed up at a Starbucks reading a book I brought along. The book was titled The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho, an international best-seller, and I couldn't agree more. The book intrigued me to the max, the writing technique and knowledge of the author was immense. I wouldn't have put the book down if I wasn't rushing to the train station. I really do recommend everyone to read this short story book, and I can't wait to get my hands on his other similar works. I had a late dinner with my sis upon arriving at Shanghai, and then it was off to bed for me.

Day 13 – Wednesday 26th July

Nothing much happen during the day. I just headed down to the fabric market to pick up my tailor-made coat and suit. I was really happy with the workmanship, can't wait to wear them when I have the chance. Being my last night in Shanghai, I treated my sis to a nice western dinner at HengShan Road. Unfortunately, I can't remember the restaurant's name. After that, we met up with Kelvin and his friends at Zapatas bar and club. It was ladies' night, so they were handing out free Margaritas and Tequillas. I finally got to experience the clubbing scene in Shanghai and it was interesting. At around ten, you would see only local girls on the dance floor (one was wearing sunglasses, isn't it dark enough???), and these were the ones waiting to be picked up by foreigners. At quarter to eleven, the dance floor got busier, both locals and expats packing in, with some women dancing on the bar table. By the way, the club plays house and retro music. The hot local chicks were dancing on the table, while some foreigners were nodding their heads to the beat and oogling at the chicks. My sis left around 12. Kelvin and I decided to join the crowd and he was right about Shanghainese chicks being aggressive. As soon as we started speaking English, local chicks kept approaching us, trying to start a conversation. I remembered one asking me to buy her a drink and take her home or something, and another one was clutching on to my arm as I walked through the crowd. I learnt to ignore them after awhile, you know, just give them the friendly leave me alone smile...hehehe...I felt bad turning them away. They were all very friendly, but you never know what kind of intentions they have. After dancing for awhile, we went outside to order some food. I spotted two ladies on one of the tables and they agreed to let us sit with them. They were locals, Sian and Helen, and could speak good English as they were taking interpretation courses. Yet again, I was deceived by looks. Chinese women are so good at concealing their age with their never-aging skin. I thought they looked early 20s but they were much older than that. Anyway, we had a really good time at the table, drinking, talking and laughing. I spent most of the time talking to Sian, about the local people, travels, the internet, etc. Kelvin had to work the next day, so we said our goodbyes and left the place at around 2am. I thought it was an awesome last night in Shanghai...

Day 14 – Thursday 27th July

Goodbye Shanghai, I will be back. You have given me a wonderful holiday...

 Monday, May 15, 2006

A bloody long birthday...

This I have to blog about. It's about me turning twenty three last weekend. As quick as it has passed, I enjoyed every single moment of it. To those who missed out:

Sunday April 30th
A mention here, HK wasn't going to be around for my birthday, so he treated me to dinner at Pacific House a week earlier.

Friday May 5th
A night to remember. Met up with WW for dinner at Tomodachi after work. I wasn't really hungry but ended up ordering Okonomiyaki, which is a huge Japanese pancake filled with vege and meat, something like a murtabak. We finished just in time to catch MI3. The movie was my birthday treat from WW, which turned out to be totally sweet. I was very happy with the non-stop action movie, definitely up there with MI1 and MI2. Even WW, who doesn't really fancy Tom Cruise, enjoyed the show. The only thing that disrupted the night so far was the idiot who was sitting in one of our seats and being a prick, he wouldn't move. I do not like being bullied. I had to call management to get rid of him when the show had already started. Obviously being an idiot, he did not leave without making a fuss, annoying the crowd. After the who, we went to Lygon for hot chocolate and my most favouritest cake, Cheesecake. It was WW's treat again, sweeeeet...ended the night walking her home in the drizzle.

Saturday 6th May
Didn't get much sleep yesterday, too much on my mind lately. Had to get up early anyway for another day of birthday celebration. This time it was yum cha at Taipan with my primary school mates. Brunch ended with a mango cake (oh no! forgot to tell this batch my most favouritest cake) and an out of sync birthday song...hahahaha...awesome! Special thanks to SY for organizing the event!

Went shopping with my daughter at Westfield in the afternoon. Didn't really see anything I like, so we ended up trying out massage chairs at an OSIM booth. Spent about 45 minutes relaxing on the chairs, having our back, legs and arms shiatsued. After we got massaged 'kau kau', we took a bus back to the city and had Vietnamese coffee at Mekong. Oh ya, went to the 'make your on photo sticker' shop and got ourselves printed for fun. I haven't done it ages, didn't realized we had a time limit to get photo design done. So stressful, worse than taking an exam!

Got back home just in time to go out for dinner with my housemate Jo. He had planned a dinner a with a few of our friends at Bismi. Somehow, we ended up talking about strippers at strip clubs. Our friend, H, seemed to have lots of experience with these stuff. She even remembered the names of the really good strippers at Men's gallery. Just reminds me the kind of exposure one can get in Melbourne compared to being in KL. Went back to our house after dinner for a bottle of Chardonnay. Met up with the DOTA gang in the city for a few games after that. Wow, I seem to play better when a bit drunk.

Sunday May 7th
Not enough sleep again. Woke up early to go yum cha with my sis. I was pretty tired, so went home after lunch to rest. Headed down to Limor's for dinner with Melon and gang to celebrate my and Chilli's birthday together. We had the seadfood and bbq platters, which were really good as always. A good place to eat for large groups. Received a nice scarf from them, just what I needed as I lost mine during last year's Falls Creek ski trip. It was a really a full on weekend, and I considered it to be one of the best weeks I've ever had. A week where I still ate and ate on a full stomach. A week of realization of just how truly cool life is with the people around you. A week where 'lonliness' never existed. A week where joy and happiness never ended.

Two most heard phrases for the week:
1. Happy Birthday!
2. May all your dreams come true...

Tuesday 9th May
Life can't be sweeter than having your parents arrive in Melbourne to celebrate your birthday with you. Yes, my parents are in Melbourne. Celebrated me and my dad's birthday at a Thai restaurant in Bundoora. Food wasn't that great but who cares, after the past 5 years of absence, my parents are finally here to celebrate with me once again...so sweet like chocolate!

Big bear hug to everyone who made it possible...

 Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Dear Thelma...

It's always nice to listen to the opinions of your friends. These angels come from all walks of life, bringing with them different perspectives on social and cultural issues, determined by their upbringing into the busy world, basing their views on experiences, pure intuition and gut feeling.

I sent them a 'Dear Thelma' one fine day.

Here's what it read:

Hey,

I've got a question which I need your opinion on.

Here's the scenario:
You meet this girl, which you find attractive. You ask her out on a date. It was great. At the next date, she tells you that she likes you very much, and that she also living with her current boyfriend. Maybe she's at that stage where she's bored already and she found someone else she likes, or maybe just not on good terms. So you continue to see each other. One night you invite her back to your place for a chat. You could tell that she really likes you, but she hasn't broken up with her boyfriend. Then in the spur of the moment you end up having sex.

Tell me, was it okay for you and her to do it, since she already liked you, and will probably break up with her boyfriend to be with you? Or was it a stupid thing to do? Who is right or wrong here? Should they have waited until they were together?

Please give me your opinion. If you believe in sex after marriage only, discard your beliefs for now and tell me what you think.


And here's the responses that I received (edited to cut out some crap of course):

from Angel H
Erm.. very interesting story..
Anyway, I don't think sex after marriage apply anymore in current society..

But to justify this relationship, questions to ask:
- the main reason the girl fell for the guy. Is that because she had a fight with her bf and she feels sad n disappointed, etc or she's bored of her current bf and need some other guy to comfort her (just temporarily).
- whether the girl has a heart for the guy is not really important coz girls change their minds easily (easily influence by some situation and can be very emotional, so don't get caught).

There is no right or wrong but I would feel bad if I did that..is not really appropriate to start another relationship before ending one..the guy would be stuck if the girl end up choosing her current bf..and the girl will be in a dilemma whether to tell her bf what had happened.

So, not really a good choice to have sex before everything settle..and I think is a bit too fast..be patient and understand each other more first, this is the best way not to ruin any relationship (either friendship or intimate relationship).

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from Melon
Tough question. This situation really depends on your own moral values, on what you perceive as right or wrong, on what constitutes "crossing the line".

Was it okay for you and her to do it? It depends on her relationship with her boyfriend. They could have a no-sleeping-with-others-while-in-this relationship policy: in that case it wasn't right for her to do so; or they could have an agreement, where as long as they're not married, if they found someone else they like, they could always end the relationship and move on.

Or was it a stupid thing to do? It was a pretty stupid thing to do - I hope it wasn't unprotected sex.

Who is right or wrong here? Both are wrong because you went out for "dates" a few times behind her boyfriend's back. If the girl has "heart" for you, why didn't she leave her boyfriend after the second date?

Should they have waited until they were together? Maybe, but again that depends on question 1.

Another thing: always remember, if she can do this to her bf now, she can 'potentially' do that to you again.

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from Colleague 1
You can have sex whenever you want, but if she does that to her current boyfriend what will stop her from doing it to you when you are in a relationship with her..and don’t say it will be different with me as it never is.

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from Mr Jolly
Quite a dilemma in that scenario. If it was me, I probably would wait. I would do that because if I was the other guy, I wouldn't like to have something like that happen to me (particularly if I knew the other person).

Anyhow, that's all in the past. It's happened and all you can do is put it behind you. No point analysing it too much.

I was listening on the radio once, and they had a segment talking about similar issues. There are actually a lot of couples that have started in this way. Some ended in happiness, others not so. Ultimately, time will tell whether it was worth it.

That's my two cents worth.

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from Joan of Arc
Basically, if u don't know the bf, then it's alright. I mean, the worst thing is that she gets caught cheating, but that's her problem..until the bf comes after u if he is crazy..haha..but for me, I think that things would've been made a lot easier if u had waited until she had broken off with her bf, then give her time to cool things off. e.g. 2 weeks - a month is more than enough time.

But then u gotta think about other things. I mean..if she can do that to her current bf, if u go out with her, what's stopping her from doing the same to u. Just be careful la..

But seriously. u got nothing to lose. Definitely go for it if u think that it will work. If u truly love her as much as she loves u then u shud definitely give it a try. If u don't have the same feelings, then it's seriously up to u.. =]

Now that things have happened, maybe..just wait till she is completely broken up with her bf...the hardest thing for a girl is to leave a guy she is already living with..too many complications that will not end for the next 6 months. e.g. rent payments, bill transfer of names, getting all the clothes and equipment back and moving out..everything..

But yer..just remember..do whatever makes u happy..just do what u feel like doing.. =] love is always complicated, but it will pave its own way no matter what u do anyways. =] just enjoy the ride!

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from My Sis
Well first of all you cannot reverse what has already been done. So hopefully it was good and worth it!! You shouldn't worry so much about what happened but more on what is going to happen. Is she going to break up with her bf or not?? Don't hang around if she is not. This you need to get a firm commitment from her and is what she has to be sure about otherwise you will find yourself waiting for a long time and nothing happens and you end up disappointed.

At the end of the day if she breaks up with her bf its because she already has something not right with him - so this may happen eventually. But don't drag yourself into a 3 way relationship. She must decide what she wants (without pressure from you).

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from Angel S
Well i think it's unfair to both of them (although the guy has the advantage). The gal should settle her own problems first b4 stepping into another relationship. If the guy really serious bout the relationship, he should request for clarification and not procrastinate the whole thing. Although both enjoyed the sex, the other half was suffering, who knows?

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from Angel A
The gal shouldn’t go into another messy relationship before she settle the previous one..there is a big question mark on my point of view here, is she serious on both relationships?

The girl is hurting her self and her own reputation man.. how can you have 2 guys at one time? (Howch to Angel A: it's called a threesome..hehe)

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from Colleague 2
From the girls perspective perhaps a wrong move as she has technically cheated on her boyfriend. Would she do this to the next boyfriend she gets bored of?

From the guys perspective..its ok..just depends on how much he likes the girl..is she stringing him along? Is she really going to break up with her current boy?

Do you want to continue seeing each other? Or is it a fling?

Well if he is wanting more than sex..I would advise to let this one go

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from My Daughter
Urmm..when it comes to relationship, it's really hard to judge what's right and what's not.

If the girl is really in love with you..I am stressing on "LOVE", then you should really think about your future with her. What's done is done. You have to really make it clear to her, she's either with you or him. The theory is simple. There's no point keeping a relationship that won't last, and there's no point doing things that will hurt her current bf. Even if he's an indecent person, he's still deserved to be treated fairly, and of course being respected for who he is.

As for the sensitive issue..S**, I don't think it's a good thing at all to have it with someone other than your bf, because as I said, he still deserved to be treated fairly. However, you gotta be careful though. Depends on who the girl is. Has she been a person like this? A person who flirts around? A person who's been with a bad guy who she loves, and doesn't love her back in return, and hence she's looking for comfort somewhere else? Or it was purely a fling with you..you know..when the "time's right" with the "right feeling" without considering the consequences? etc etc..

And also it depends on who you are.

Well. At the end of the day, no one can promise any relationship to last forever. Can you?

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from Chit
The girl seem to be pretty immature in the way she handled the situation
(either that or she's a manipulative player), I seriously doubt that
something like that will lead to any good.

It sounds more like the guy is taking advantage of a mere *spark* that came
about at random
, if the guy is serious, he should step back and avoid
getting himself tied in the mess, what's done is spilt milk, what comes next
however is not beyond the guy's control
.

The guy should never have done it in the first place. In reality, I believe
any guy who can wield the girls' "spur of a moment" intention as an excuse
for sex is a desperate wuss
, I seriously doubt that the attraction will
last.

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from Ken
Well, I can see what you are going through now. Seems complicated but then its easy. It sounds like the gal likes you very much that she's willing to have sex with you although she has a bf. But do you know that she has a bf in the 1st place? or maybe she is taking advantage of you coz she's too bored with her current bf?? Well, it's hard to say from here.

Thats no right or wrong answer here. It's between you and the gal, and now it has become a love triangle. If she really likes you, then she should be breaking up with her bf. But what advise I can give you is, if she can do that to her current bf, she might do it to you.

It seems that I didnt tell you any solutions here, coz you need to settle it yourself with your own heart. Good luck and keep in touch man.

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from Sis 2
sorry..the girl is playing with the guy! She is happily enjoying the whole cake! Living with her boyfriend showed that she is already in a committed stage living with someone. Even if she claimed that she doesn't like him anymore, which you didn't not mention here, she would have moved out and would be too upset to jump into another relationship.

WARNING BELLS are ringing:
If she can cheat on her boyfriend, she can also cheat on you!
If she is really breaking up..then you are just a rebound relationship..
Conscience - do you want to be the cause of a breakup?


She can have both of you..she may try to sweet talk you into believing that she doesn’t like him anymore or have difficulty to breaking up.

WATCH OUT for excuses!:
I don't want to hurt him..can't break up with him..
Can't move out..as no place to go or lack of finance..
I need to find the right time to talk to him..
We are now just good friends..
Takes time for me to find a place/move my things..


OR WORST you decide to go out with her:
- get hurt..she may just say..boyfriend and I decided to work things out..sorry bye bye!
- get bashed up by boyfriend
- bad reputation as blur or stupid!
- have to share her - remember she goes back home to him every night!
- stressful - wondering if she is with the other guy now!


DON’T WASTE any more of your heart, time and money..unless..
If you really feel this is the right girl...then do following:
Get rid of baggage first! Do not go out on any dates until she has a clear cut break up and moved out (accept none of the above excuses!)
Get to know her. Be friends first...let her have time to get over ex, you don’t want to just be a rebound.

Unless you are just going out with her for fun and don’t care she has boyfriend or not! but remember what goes around comes around!

As to whether it was ok to do it? Just asking this question perhaps..subconsciously you didn’t feel it was right??? Anyway, sex always complicate things as emotions get involved..unless both of you just wanted a one night fun..but then one or both party always expect more after that..otherwise you can feel quite used or cheap or the person is so easy! So very complicated lah! You can do lots hot intimidate things together..but try to avoid actual sex if possible till you are sure, especially not on the first few dates..with a girl who has a boyfriend! Also, the first few initial "sex tease" always makes it more exciting and more enjoyable when the actual sex happens later on..makes it more "mysterious", "less cheap" and "no doubt it was right thing!"

So whatever you want from this relationship and whether it was right or not..talk/communicate more (and hopefully honestly) including doubts, feelings, expectations, with each other..only then you would know what you and she wants and expect, and whether it is the same or not!..and whether it was right or not!

Do I pass the "Dear Thelma" test??? I hope it's helpful!!!

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from Haven't Met You Yet
Hey..if I were the guy I definitely won't have sex with that gal coz the gal haven't broken up with her bf yet..it sounds like that gal betray her bf..(try to think..if you were her current bf..how would you feel? sure your heart would break into pieces right?)

And one thing you must remember..you think that she already got bored with her current bf...right? I'm sure one day she also would get bored with her next bf..ppl always tend to be greedy..after get bored with something..they will try to look for another target..

There is no who's right or wrong coz
1. If the gal got no feeling on that guy..she definitely won't have sex with that guy
2. I think both parties knows what they are doing..they are adult, mature enough to think and should be responsible for what they have done..

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from Mr Choe
It's a tough situation here man, because what I'm scared is that the girl was bored that night, and needed somebody to talk with, or comfort. In this case, she doesn't really care what story goes on..after the incident, she might feel a bit guilty and might go back to her bf..

2nd scenario
She likes you, it's true. But somehow, she is not ready to start a new relationship by breaking up with her current bf.

3rd scenario
She's ready to dump her bf and be with you, but guess you gotta voice up.

Anyway, I'm like answering a serious question here..plz forgive me as this is just my thoughts. Anyhow, just try to hang out again with the girl and notice if anything unusual from her, or I guess both of them should really have a good talk since it's already been this stage. Honesty is the key solution here I guess?

I wish them both all the best..and hope they'll cherish the moment of love together..

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from Sex Addict
I think u chose the wrong person to ask this morally correct question cause this is exactly what happened to me and **** when I was with my ex. So guess what happen now.. :P

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from Pumpkin
Hell NO!!!!! It was a terrible and foolish thing for them both. Very well knowing that sexual intercourse involves both person, I sincerely believe that the blame should not only be placed on the girl (not to mention that she's attached..!) but also on the guy.

Regardless on how much she had expressed her feelings for this guy or perhaps this guy "felt" that she likes him, the ultimate point is that she's attached..!!!! And am living with the current boyfriend. Gosh! I can imagine how heart-breaking it is from the boyfriend's point of view. Getting bored in a r/ship is not a good excuse to "fool around". Besides, in any other r/ship, after a couple of yrs especially, it is bound to be mundane and less exciting compare to the first 3 months. Feelings for the guy? Hmmmphhh.. it might even jst be infatuation. Some ppl fall in love more easily than others so it is not bizarre to have feelings for several ppl at the same time. But of course, that is still not a good excuse to fool around.

Another point to consider is that, if this girl can do such things even when she's currently attached, what makes the guy think that she will be sincerely loyal to him after she left her boyfriend for him..??!???! *ponders*

So in short, it is NOT OKAY to do it with her even if she "might" break up with her boyfriend to be with the guy. And YES, it was extremely stupid to do it at the spur of the moment.. they should've waited until they were together.

But of course..all of the above are just my two cents worth of comments. ;P

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from A.
Will reply in more detail later, but...she doesn't have the heart for you until she has broken up with her boyfriend. Find out why she hasn't broken up with her bf yet. You might have to get used to the situation as a friend of mine waited for nearly 2 years till the girl broke up with her bf. And he had to fly up to Queensland to speak to him first. Do you have the patience?

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 Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Chinese New Year Eve

Had a Chinese New Year and house warming pot-luck party at my house last Saturday. There were lots of food. Fried garlic prawns, sea cucumber with chinese mushrooms, hainanese chicken, chee cheong fun, curry chicken, vegetarian, sushi, fried noodles, grilled honey chicken wings, KFC, fried brocolli with sausage and char siew. And alcohol of course! Met Jo's friends for the first time, and one of them caught my eye. *wink* As usual, Jo being the still growing up son in the family, didn't tell us that she was vegetarian. So she ended up eating the only vegetarian dish there, a nectarine and Uncle Toby's OTs. Sheesh! Hope he feels very guilty, because I'm sure she must have been really disappointed. Like any chinese new year tradition, we gambled, played poker, and I was the first person to be kicked out of the game. My excuse: so I can entertain my other guests hahaha. No ler, I just suck at that game... The party went on till 5 in the morning! Only 6 people left by that time.
All in all everything went smoothly, thanks to great organizing by me and my housemates. Thumbs up!

Today, I received a surprise SMS from Pumpkin!
Here's what it said:
Hey! Hey! Hey! No new yr msg fr u? What the heck? Happy new year to u! Bet u dont feel a twitch but still.. Hope celebrations are great bck in melb..!!

Uh Oh, feeling guilty now. Will give her a call later tonight to wish her personally...

Ma Maison

Yes, finally moved into my new mansion. 2 storey townhouse actually. Spend the first week cleaning and tidying up the place. My housemates are brothers Jo and HK, and it looks like it's going to be both fun and challenging living with them.

A brief description of my mansion. It's location is fantastic. Opposite a big park, near a golf course, 5 minutes from Safeway, Coles and K-Mart. We've got a car port in the front and HK just bought a Honda Civic to make use of it. As you walk in the front door, you are greeted with a huge living cum dining room. Look further ahead and you'll see the sliding doors which opens up to a beautiful courtyard, where BBQs and clothes drying take place. If you look to your left, you will see a guest toilet, and a kitchen with a bar. If you look to your right, you will see the spiral staircase that takes you up to the second floor. On the second floor, the first door to the left leads to HK's bedroom, the smallest one. The first door to the right is my bedroom, the tidiest one...hehe. The second door to the right is Jo's bedroom, the largest one. The other two doors leads to the toilet, laundry and bathroom with 2 sinks, a shower and a bath tub.

After living here for a month, I can finally see our roles as a family. HK plays the husband, a doctor, who works long hours trying to put food on the table. Jo plays the son, who's still learning the art of cleaning up your own mess. And unfortunately, I play the person who cooks, buys groceries, and cleans up any mess made. Yeah, can't complain ler, I grew up with so many women in the house, where as the bros did not. Anyway, it's all about being able to live with others and learning from each other. A brighter future ahead ya!

 Monday, January 02, 2006

3rd Week

Last week of eating in KL:
Honey Dew Sago, Cantonese Fried Kuay Teow, Johor Laksa, Famous Amos Cookies, Long Yok

Oh well, the rojak can wait another day...

Didn't do much really this week. Tried to spend more time with family, especially with my little nephew and niece. Man, are they cute little things...so wonderful to play with them. Caught up with WS and Dyonne (my closest primary mates) for mamak.

Took another trip to Paris on its birthday. Lunch and a movie The Promise. Pretty good show with a 26 mil budget I thought. Celebrated New Year's eve at Sri Hartamas with German food and friends from Penang. BH wanted to go back to his aunt's house to shower and come out again for the count down. I thought it was a waste of time but everyone just went along. Not to my surprise, we ended up counting down in the car. Yes, we were the cars on Federal Highway honking and waving glow sticks at midnight.

Went for dim sum and then to KLCC on New Year's. Caught up with someone I haven't seen in 5 years. She's the first and only person so far to make me go, 'Woah' right in front of her when we first met. Yeah, she really caught my eye back then. And yes, she finally met her first boyfriend.

I didn't want to leave KL on Monday, already started missing home, but I had to. My life in Melbourne isn't over yet, it has only begun...

 Sunday, December 25, 2005

2nd Week

What else I've eaten:
Steamboat, Bak Kut Teh, Otak-otak, Assam Prawns, Kankung Belacan, Peanut Pancake, Coconut Pancake, Taiwai Sausage, Sotong Balls, Butter Prawns, Marmite Crab, BBQ, Lamb Chops, Buffet, Chicken Rice, Roast Pork, Char Siew, Roast Duck, Peking Duck,
Durian

What's left to eat:
Rojak and Honey Dew Sago, not bad, I'm almost done...

It was an interesting week. Spent lots of time shopping and catching up with family and friends. Bought more clothes to meet my spending budget. Met up with my primary school friends, one whom I haven't seen in 11 years, RP. Surprisingly, absolutely nothing has changed about her, except the long hair. Spent the whole Wednesday at Paris on Wednesday. Spent Thursday with Cupcake inclusive of a King Kong movie. It simply amazes me. These two have personalities that are quite opposites, yet both of them have the qualities that I appreciate in a woman. Maybe another outing will do me good. Great to catch up with CC on Christmas Eve, a brother to me always.

People have been asking me whether I'll settle Melbourne. My answer will always be: I'm just there for the work experience. At the end of the day, Malaysia is where I want to be. It's where I grew up and it will always be my true home.

 Sunday, December 18, 2005

1st week

It's nice to be back in KL.

What I've eaten so far:
Home Cooked Food, Char Kuay Teow, Assam Laksa, Lobak, Dim Sum, Wan Tan Mee, Curry Laksa, Porridge, Seafood, Nasi Lemak, Roti Canai, Mee Rebus, Cendol, Rojak, Burger, Ipoh Sar Hor Fun, Sotong Rojak, Satay, Cheong Fun, Har Mee, Mee Goreng, Ampang Yong Tau Foo, Shark Fin's Soup, Suckling Pig, Buddha Jump Over The Wall, Hot & Sour Soup

Spent most of the time learning how to create a wedding video for K and PL's wedding in Penang. It was quite fun but very time-consuming. Thanks to Cupcake for contributing ideas to the video, could see the difference between someone who's experienced with film production and one who's not.

Then came the wedding day in Penang. A church wedding. We had to sing some joyous songs. Could finally see who were the Christians among our friends because they were the ones who were really into it, singing their heart out, with their hands raised in the air. But the priest spoke really well during the ceremony. He was saying it's okay to be nervous at your wedding. It's okay if it's not perfect. Mistakes may happen. He has even seen the groom put the wedding ring into the priest's finger. Muahaha. A line to remember: There's no such thing as a perfect marriage. It grows all the time. It's not a relationship between the bride and the groom, but with god as well. With god beside you, your love would grow stronger as time passes. You want to love each other 5 times more in 5 years time, 10 times more in 10 years time. Wah, that's what I want in my marriage next time...such a good feeling...

There was a surprise package in Penang. The first girl to ever make my heart flutter was there for the wedding too. Though I've never gotten to her yet, did find out she'll be KL for awhile, so maybe I will finally have the chance.
We'll see...

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    *NAUGHTY BOY*

    part-time learner;
    part-time worker;
    part-time sportsman;
    part-time dreamer;
    part-time food-lover;
    part-time doggie patter;
    part-time entertainer;
    part-time listener;
    part-time thinker;
    and part-time blogger;

    i am my own playfulness;
    my own exhiliration;
    my own happiness;
    my own dedication;
    my own humorous;
    my own confusion;
    my own calmness;
    and my own satisfaction;